4 Steps for Breaking Negative Patterns

When we allow ourselves to be at the mercy of the chaos and drama that happens around us, repetitive, unhappy thoughts have a tendency to keep us stuck in a cycle of fear, anxiety, stress, and addictive behaviors. We desperately want to control the world, thinking we know what is needed. But we absolutely cannot control what happens around us, so this is a fruitless effort. It’s only by becoming intimately aware of what is going on in our minds that we can make a choice to either continue traveling a circular path or move forward with renewed determination to create permanent change in ourselves—to really live in freedom

So, why does this seem so difficult? In one word, distraction. As we all know, the media’s job is to convince us that some new possession, program, or pill is the key to our happiness, our freedom. It diverts us from the truth, and we end up confusing our identity and security with outward things. We become distracted by these empty promises and dead-end solutions. If there were truth in advertising, the vast array of gadgets and gimmicks should have provided humanity with peace and happiness by now—but this is far from the case!

Despite all the outward promises, our problems don’t get resolved without action. And the Buddha actually says, “right action.” What is this right action we can take? I’m incredibly excited and hopeful to share with you that more and more people are coming to the same conclusion as the great teachers, saints, and mystics of the past:

Meditation and other spiritual practices are a means of tapping into the source of strength, fearlessness, peace, happiness, and freedom within each and every one of us.

The following four steps can help you get on this path of right action, too:

• Step 1: Get to know your mind
  Understanding how our mind operates by tapping into our inner “source of strength and security” through the daily practice of meditation is the first step toward living our lives in freedom. With a daily practice, we begin to become aware of the thoughts we are having on a daily basis. With this awareness, we can cultivate our minds—actually train our mind to think with awareness and to make choices that are in line with our intention to be free of whatever holds us back from living the magnificent lives we wish to live.
• Step 2: Practice daily
  Through daily practices such as meditation, mantra repetition, focused attention, reading for inspiration, and reflection activities, we can nourish our minds, strengthen our bodies, and live with certainty, with completeness, and with love. These are the tools that give us an alternative to anxiety-provoking thoughts about past and future events that can drive us to fall back into negative patterns. A daily practice shows us that living in the present moment is where we find the happiness and confidence to really live our lives in freedom.
• Step 3: Say “no” to quick fixes
  In this day of “there is something out there to fix everything,” we continue to grasp at quick fixes. This is like patching a leaky boat with tissues. A Zen master once said, “Life is like getting into a leaky boat and heading out to sea.” This definitely speaks to the uncertainty of life that we all feel from time to time. In the face of this truth, of course, we have a general sense of uneasiness, worry, apprehension, and fear. In this “leaky boat,” we can sink at any moment! When we accept the uncertainty of life, we just never really know what is going to happen in any given moment, we are no longer taken off guard when something goes “wrong,” we stand firmly planted in ourselves, and we recognize that we have a choice to face challenges without reacting out of fear or retreating back into unwanted behaviors.
• Step 4: Slow down
  The chaos and speed of life often interfere with taking the time to go within, sit in quiet, and restore balance. But it is precisely this connection to ourselves that is the key to breaking negative patterns. To change the outward life we are living, we need to slow down and spend some time each day cultivating our inward life. Little by little, we move out of fear and stress and can begin making the lasting changes we choose to make.

These four steps do not make our problems and challenges disappear, but they do allow us to see them from a fresh vantage point. The Practice, beginning with a morning meditation, helps us develop a deeper understanding and the will to change harmful ways of living. And despite all the problems of the world, we begin to feel that the world is not a hostile place that holds us back from leading a life of magnificence.

With the great source of strength we have within, we become balanced in the outer world, giving us the knowing that we are in control of our inner life, we are light, confident, and free, which is then reflected beautifully in the outside world. Our life has a sense of rhythm. With each “right action” we make, we are patching our leaky boat

Courtesy: Barb Schmidt

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