How to Deal with Rejection…and why sometimes it’s good to not get what you want

Rejection can be a real drag. We get our hopes and expectations up and sometimes, we just don’t get that job, relationship, house, car, etc., that we really want. Even though we can experience a vast array of sad emotions when we things don’t really work out the way we want them to, it’s so important to remember that the Universe is always working in our favor; so if it does in fact close a door that we were really hoping would stay open, chances are that something even more amazing will come right around the corner to take it’s place.

It’s really hard to get our ego minds to understand this, and I even struggle to remember this all the time. Lately though, whenever I hit an end of the road and things are just not working for me, that Rolling Stones song, you can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you get what you need” comes into my mind. It’s like a little affirmation confirming that what I want might not be what I need. It’s also a prayer for support and trust.

In the ever spirit of reworking our brains from negative to positive, let’s learn how to look at rejection in a new light. Shall we?

1. Ask yourself important questions and get in touch with your emotions.Why did you want this thing (job, relationship, house, car, etc.)? Get to the bottom of your feelings about the situation, and start to truly understand why your ego mind is telling you that you need this thing that you don’t already have. Usually in doing this step, you will come to find that you don’t really need this thing, but your mind keeps telling you that you do.
2. Don’t beat yourself up.Life is filled with highs and lows, and if we are let down by a rejection or denial, it really has nothing to do with our own self-worth; it simply wasn’t meant for you. Don’t allow your mind to get on the negative self-talk spiral taking you into a further state of sadness.
3. Try to see the situation from all perspectives.Even though it may be tough, try to see how it could be a good thing for you to be rejected or denied what you were searching for. Maybe you didn’t get this one job, because you really are interested in exploring something different. Perhaps you broke up with your significant other because you need to spend some time really loving yourself. Get your mind moving in a different, more “big picture” way of thought so you can really feel that this situation is not the end of your world.
4. Let go of control.Usually when we don’t get what we want, we try to muscle our way to get that thing. We scheme, plot, plan, and try and force something to happen that’s simply not meant to be. Realize that there is so much outside of your control, just focus on your own thoughts, beliefs, and feelings, and let go of the rest.
5. Trust that what is meant for you will find you.Just like stated above with a job or relationship, if you are feeling rejected or denied, feel it deep within yourself that something even better then you could even imagine will take it’s place.
6. Act as if.If you really are searching for something in your life, act as if you already have it. When we send out that desperation signal, are really saying that we don’t trust or have faith. You are enough and whole just as you are, so act that way!
7. Find a trusted support system to help lift your spirits.While so much that we talk about is about the inner work, it’s also great to have some outside help. Refer to your go-to spiritual running buddies to help keep your mind positive.
8. Be grounded and confident in yourself.Taking off of the idea of Number 6 above, know that even though you may feel down because of this idea of lack or rejection, you still are complete. Be confident in yourself, keep your head up high, and revel in the limitless possibilities of your life.

What are some of your best ways to deal with rejection? How do you take your mind from negative to positive? Let me know!

Compiled, edited And adapted by Khalid Latif, www.thekhalids.org

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