Bismillaahir Rahmaanir Raheem
Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barkatuh!

This wonderful story brought tears to my eyes. Thought I share with you all, it may touch your hearts too.

**** Qur'an 3:104: Let there arise amongst you a band of people inviting to all that is good and right, and forbidding the wrong. Such are the successful ones....**** Qur'an 16:125: Invite to the way of your Lord Wisdom and fair exhortation...

It's Our Fault : A New York father writes,
 
Many of us came to North America to give our children the opportunity of a better  life, a better education and a more prosperous future.  Little did we realize that though we may have achieved these goals, we have sacrificed our children's future in the Aakhirah (the Hereafter) as a result.    While they may be well educated in their secular fields and hold reputable jobs, they have brought on the displeasure of their parents in innumerable ways.  True success lies in the pleasure of Allah and the displeasure of the parent, brings on the displeasure of Allah. Let us look back at our lives and try and understand what went wrong in our children s’ upbringing.  If my memory serves me correctly, my son was not even two months before my wife decided to stop breastfeeding our son and give him formula instead.  It was not that she didn't have enough milk, but a so called ‘educated’ friend of hers convinced her that formula was far more nutritious than what Allah subhanawataalah had intended for babies.  Little did we realize that this was our first step towards pushing our son away from our hearts.   Even before his first birthday my wife decided to join the likes of the feminist woman of her times and look for a job.  She remembers the piercing cries of our son when he was dropped off at the babysitter every morning. She consoled herself in the thoughts that promoting her career prospects was in the best interests of her baby.  Even after my wife came home from work, she would place him in front of the television because she needed the time to attend to the cooking and household duties,that were neglected during the day.  Within the next six years our son had been looked after by three different baby sitters and a few daycare centers. Each time we justified handing over our son to a stranger by telling him that we were doing what was best for him and his future.    He begged for our attention in his toddler years, but we were too preoccupied with how to make the monthly mortgage payments on our new house and buy all the new modern gadgets that we thought we needed.  It is ironic that now my son gives us the same excuses we gave to him, when we ask for his attention and company.  He says he has to go to work during the day and has other duties to attend to in the evenings. 
 
School friendsI remember how our son would crave our attention in his younger years but as he approached his 13th or 14th year, I gradually saw a change in his need for our company.  He spent a lot of time with his friends and was very embarrassed if any of his friends saw him with my wife and I.  When his friends were around, he did not want anything to do with us.  I remember over hearing a telephone conversation with his friend about how ‘his parents were dumb’ and wished they worked longer hours so he could have more time alone.  I didn't pay much attention to his attitude at the time.  I was just glad that he was old enough to keep him self occupied. 
 
TelevisionOur son and daughter spent a great deal of time in front of the television after school and on weekends.  In fact, it came on as they were having breakfast in the morning and was it was the last thing that was switched off before they went to bed at night.  I remember how the kids on T.V. shows behaved towards their parents and elders.  They were rude and defiant.  They always got their way. It’s funny how we tolerated them watching these TV shows yet we got annoyed and upset when they acted out the very same behavior in our presence.  Much of the behavior of our children is ingrained in them by the culture of television and school.EducationMy wife and I did our utmost best to give our children the best secular education we could afford.  We found the best school specializing in science and bought them the best educational materials we could find. I subscribed to the latest science magazines and made sure my children read them, but I never once read them stories of the Prophets and their noble companions. We made sure he attended an ‘Islamic class’ once a week to learn the fundamentals of Deen.  However, we did not make much effort to see that they practiced Deen in the home.  We performed our five daily prayers but were not very particular about instilling it in them.  I read my Qur’aan daily in the mornings while the children were eating breakfast in front of the television.  I would regularly attend Taraweeh prayers in Ramadhaan but I never asked my son to join me because I felt sorry for him to have to stand in long Rakaats listening to the Qur’aan.  I thought nothing of leaving him at home in his room with his friends listening to music and wasting the time away on Ramadhaan nights. I never woke him for Fajr, yet I would sometimes beat him if he didn’t wake up early to study for exams. Our local  Masjid often held Islamic lectures on the weekends with speakers from all over North America, but I thought it was more important to take my son to his sports meets.  
Rather than dressing our daughter in our traditional modest clothes, my wife bought her the latest fashions when she young (she thought they looked so cute in them) and now I feel embarrassed to take my daughter to family gatherings in such ‘revealing clothes.’ Now my wife and I ask ourselves.  How can we expect our children to fulfill our rights, when we haven’t done our duty towards them?

Courtesy: Mohammed Altaf  Shaikh 

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