1) Has your home also become a ' Hotel ‘? WHEN WE SHARE
- Hits: 1765
In the name of Allah, the Most-Merciful, the All-Compassionate
"May the Peace and Blessings of Allah be Upon You"
Bismillah Walhamdulillah Was Salaatu Was Salaam 'ala Rasulillah
As-Salaam Alaykum Wa-Rahmatullahi Wa-Barakaatuh
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1) Has your home also become a ' Hotel ‘?
The home of today has become very much like a hotel. Strangers stumble in and out at odd hours, each one doing his own little thing. "The family" has now almost become just a fond memory. "The family" having meals together is a rare occasion.
Just sitting together and chatting is even rarer. Part of the blame can be apportioned to the fast, demanding pace of life in the modern and "advanced" world we are living in. The other part can be attributed to the lack of will and the apathy on the part of members of the family to get together more often. Everyone seems quite happy with leading his/her "own life".
Parents have a responsibility to bind the family. Upbringing plays an important part on how close off-spring will be with their parents and among themselves in later life. If they have grown up comfortably in a cold, detached home environment, the "hotel-type" home, they can hardly be expected to take much interest in family affairs later on.
Parents need to spend time with their children daily - Quality Time. Quality time means a time of day or night when neither of them or their children are tired or occupied with other things. Try to fix a time daily so that a regular pattern can be set. Sit down as a family. Talk. Discuss. Ask children about school. How did the day go? What did they learn? What was exciting, etc? Tell them about your own work, your day. Children are good talkers. They get excited. They need to express themselves; their feelings and emotions. Give them this opportunity to talk. They need it. You will be surprised how much you do not know about your child's life.
Parents should never regard this daily get-together as a small or unimportant part of their lives. It is VITAL. This togetherness will convince your children that you are interested in them. This will motivate and encourage them to perform better in all what they do.
This daily get-together will also lead to the BONDING OF THE FAMILY, which is so important for the family and the children, especially. Today the family unit is slowly disintegrating all over the world. What is sadder is that it is even happening to Muslim homes and families.
A strongly-bonded family will produce a stable and strong child. Otherwise the child will suffer psychological disorders that become progressively worse. Such a child eventually becomes a lost cause; a liability to his/her family and to society at large. The implications for society in a neglected child are enormous. This is very sad and unfortunate for the neglected child. It is also dangerous for the future of the child. Such a child will easily be influenced by outsiders and alien influences, as s/he will not find fulfillment in the home. Such a child could end-up becoming a drug-addict or even a criminal. Parents may be in for a rude shock and could possibly realise the harm only after it is too late to really reverse the damage. May Allah save our children from such a day?
A good way to get going with the family-evening is to assist children with their school work. Get them to bring their school bag and books along. Look at their work, even if you do not understand much! Ask them a few questions about the work they have learnt; from their books. Help them along with their Islamic Studies as well. Listen keenly to their Qur'an recitation lesson. Ensure they have learnt all Islamic Studies lessons for the next day. Get them to complete other school work.
Finally, talk to them for a few minutes about good manners, good behaviour, the importance of discipline and hard work. Narrate to them some interesting anecdote from which they could learn a lesson or moral. If possible read to them for a few minutes from a good Islamic book or Kitab. All of this will go a very long way to developing your child into a highly successful adult.
Courtesy: Mufti Zubair Bayat
WHEN WE SHARE
When we share laughter, There's twice the fun;
When we share success,We’ve surpassed what we’ve done.
When we share problems,There’s half the pain;
When we share tears,A rainbow follows rain.
When we share dreams,They become more real;
When we share secrets,It’s our hearts we reveal.
If we share a smile,That’s when our love shows;
If we share a hug,That’s when our love grows.
If we share with someoneOn whom we depend,
That person is always Family or friend.
And what draws us closerAnd makes us all care,
Is not what we have,But the things we share
- By Jill Wolf
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2) Simple Steps to make Sharing A Habit
It’s easy to forget to share. Not that we’re selfish people, but life gets so hectic and it can seem awkward or unnatural to reach out to another and share.
This is a shame, because sharing is one of the methods of forging bonds with other people and keeping us feeling connected to our families, communities and humanity as a whole. By taking as many opportunities to share as you can, you’ll uplift your own spirit and bring joy to those around you. Like I said, it can be easy to get so wrapped up in the day to day business of life that we miss these opportunities to share, so here are seven steps to make sharing a habit.
1. Make a point of finding one thing a day to share; anything from simple things to offering a piece of gum to the guy sitting next to you on the train, to offering to let a family member borrow your truck for moving. The more you practice sharing, the more it becomes a natural reflex.
2. Don’t forget that sharing isn’t just about material things, it’s also about sharing thoughts and feelings. Take time each day to sit and talk with your friends and loved ones and share what’s going on in your life and allow them to share their thoughts and feelings with you. 3. Speak up when you have information to share. Don’t let your shyness get in the way of helping others out. Keep in mind that factual information, such as information about a sale or a blocked road will be more welcomed than unsolicited personal opinions.
4. Accept graciously when others offer to share with you. Generosity is a two way street and we are enriched both when we learn to give and when we learn to receive. Let go of your ego and suspicion and allow others the opportunity to share. Of course, pay attention to your instincts to avoid dangerous situations such as taking a ride with a stranger and set firm boundaries when dealing with those who have harmed you in the past.
5. Embrace the good feelings you get after you’ve shared with somebody. These feelings don’t mean that you’ve given selfishly; they are a sign that you are doing something good for your spirit. Sharing is good for individuals, good for families and good for communities, so why wouldn’t we get warn, happy feelings from doing it?
6. As you become more comfortable with sharing, look for ways to share that you might not have considered before. Perhaps you could invite a friend over to your home for a meal or volunteer at a senior citizens center. Or you could continue to increase your intimacy with close loved ones by sharing more of your thoughts and dreams. The more you share, the easier it becomes and it starts to feel more natural and less like an intrusion or invasion.
7. Don’t worry too much about reciprocation or keeping score. Do make sure that you aren’t taken advantage of and that you have healthy boundaries, but in general, you’ll be happier if you take the attitude that it will all come out even in the wash. The more you make sharing a habit, the more you’ll be rewarded with richer, closer relationships and a feeling of being connected to society, not isolated from it.
Sharing is incredibly important because it is what allows us to function in societies and establish ties of kinship and friendship. Sharing freely and accepting graciously are important to our emotional and spiritual well being, so it’s well worth it to make a conscious effort to make sharing a habit.
Have a nice day!
Courtesy: SADRU RAJWANI Compiled, edited and adapted by Khalid Latif,