Sunday, May 05, 2024
Assalam Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatahu

5 Lies You’re Telling Yourself (Almost) Every Day

5 Lies You’re Telling Yourself (Almost) Every Day

They’re holding you back from creating a life you love

Do you consider yourself a liar? I bet you don’t. You think of yourself as an honest person who tells the truth and expects everyone else to do the same.And when you find out someone has lied to you, you get offended and maybe even a little mad.But what if I told you you’re a liar yourself? At least, you’re lying to yourself — probably even every day.And it’s not even your fault. It has just become so normal because most of us are used to negative self-talk and toxic thought patterns that keep us stuck in spirals of lies.And as Richard Bach wrote:“

The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves. We live in denial of what we do, even what we think. We do this because we’re afraid.We fear we will not find love, and when we find it we fear we’ll lose it. We fear that if we don’t have love we will be unhappy.”I can’t do X because of Z.I would love to write, but I don’t have time.I would love to be vegan/vegetarian, but it’s just so expensive.I would love to lose weight, but it’s impossible because of my job.Does any of that sound familiar?Yeah, I’ve been there too. But over time, I’ve learned that nobody will do the work for me. If I want a specific result, I must make time for the required action.The good news is, you don’t need to lose weight, eat healthily, exercise more, start a business, write, meditate, or do anything else that sounds cool.But if you want to do any of that, you’ll need to do it regardless of your excuses.I promise you’ll always find reasons for not doing hard things.But I can also promise that those excuses will eventually lead to frustration and anger.You might have a lot on your plate and be busy as hell. I get that. But if you want something, you need to make time for it. There’s no way around it, and excuses are the worst way to waste your time.I think there’s something fundamentally wrong with me.I’ve spent most of my life thinking something’s wrong with me. At school, I found most other girls annoying and mostly hung up with guys.When I decided to build my own business instead of pursuing a traditional career, I had to change my social circle again.Back then, most of my friends had no idea what they wanted to do in life, while I had a sharp vision and was spending every evening, weekend, and holiday working my dreams.Even with my family, I used to feel like the outsider who was just different because I fundamentally disagreed with so many things they did and said.Over the last two years, I’ve learned that I’m not alone in thinking I’m weird.Through honest, open, and vulnerable conversations with other women, I found out that my feelings were not just valid but common.Most people constantly hide their different sides because they’re afraid of being judged for who they really are.And that’s why you think others are “normal” while you aren’t.Yet, the truth is, most people you know think that way too. They also believe they’re weird.And in the end, what does “normal” mean anyway?!We’re all unique in our own ways, and that’s what makes each of us a masterpiece.Instead of trying to “fit in,” we should maybe just allow ourselves to stand out by showing who we really are.I’ll do it later/tomorrow/next week.Well, you probably won’t. And you know it.If something sucks today, it’ll likely suck tomorrow too. But tomorrow will be better if you just get the job done now.When planning the future, we often think we’ll have more time.“I’m so busy today. I’ll just do this next week!”But the truth is, when the future arrives, we’re still busy. And the main problem is, by procrastinating and delaying important tasks, we usually ruin our ability to focus. That’s because we keep thinking about what we need to do, even if we don’t actively do it.We think of that task we’ve put off.We think of that email we didn’t reply to.We think of the laundry we didn’t do.And because we continue to think of it, we have less energy to get other things done.Most of the time, you’ll be better off following Nike’s slogan and just doing it.If I had more [fill the gap], I’d finally be happy!I’d be a lot happier/more relaxed/[insert desirable state] if I had more money!Or if I had a less annoying job!Or if my family wouldn’t be so annoying!Or if I had the perfect partner!The truth is, you wouldn’t.Even though external factors can shape our emotional wellbeing, they’re mostly a reflection of what’s going on inside our heads and hearts.More money wouldn’t make you any happier, just like a different job or a different partner wouldn’t magically change how you feel.If you feel frustrated, angry, or even just a little stuck, you must first look inside before blaming anything on the outside.Saying that having this or that would make us happier is easy because it helps us shuffle off responsibility: “I’d be happy if I had more money. I don’t have it right now, so I’m allowed to be unhappy.”If you want to feel differently, you mostly need to do things differently.If money is the main problem, you can start to change how you think about money, track your income and expenses so you can potentially save more, or start a side job or business to increase your income.These are just three of many more potential solutions, and the truth is, most problems are solvable.The main challenge is that whining and complaining are much more comfortable than taking responsibility and fighting for change.I’m too old/young for that.I was 20 years old when I co-founded my first non-profit organization to help students become more confident, self-aware, and productive. And I was 21 years old when I self-published my first book.Back then, most people told me, “Aren’t you a bit too young to do all of this? Why don’t you just finish your studies and get a “real job” first?”The truth is, I hated the idea of having a “real job.”I’ve worked various jobs since I was 15, but my only full-time employment was a 6-month internship in a huge corporate organization. And I hated every second of it because it was boring as hell.I was lucky to find out what I wanted to do in life early on, and I just kept doing it despite the negative voices because I knew being stuck in a career I hated would hurt far more than a few degrading comments.The truth is, we’re living in a time where you’re rarely “too old” or “too young” for anything. We have more opportunities and choices than ever before, yet, we hold ourselves back from living our dreams because we’re afraid of two things:We’re scared of failing.And we’re even more afraid of what others might think of us when we fail.So the question is, will you continue to live for others, or will you ignore the excuses and finally start to live for yourself?Wanna become your best self? 

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