Your Family is Your Garden!
- Hits: 930
Assalamo alykum wa Rehmatullahe wa Barakaatuh
Your Family is Your Garden! Part 1
What is a garden?
In most dictionaries the meaning of the word ‘garden’ is given as, “a piece of land, usually in a yard next to your house, where you grow flowers and vegetables.”
However, if you view a garden from a different perspective then you will realise that it is much, much more than what is explained in these dictionary meanings.
It is a place where you experience the actual serenity, the real tranquility. Much of your personal peace and happiness comes from the time you spend in your garden. It soothes your soul like nothing else that you do during your entire day.
It is a place where you observe buds blooming into flowers that have captivating beauty, velvety smoothness and exquisite fragrance. Some of these flowers ultimately ripen into the most appetizing fruits or vegetables.
It is also the place where you get to see the most attractive and colourful birds, insects and numerous other amazing creations of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala.
In short, this is the place where you get the opportunity to witness the Jalal, the Grace, the Greatness, the Power, and numerous other Divine Attributes of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala.
To achieve a fully satisfying harvest from your garden, you have to give your maximum time and energy. You have to work very hard, using the right tools, gardening wisdom and a willing spirit. You need to care for the plants once they’re in the soil, making sure they are well watered and fed, given adequate support and are not growing in competition with weeds and are free from pests and plant diseases.
The Family Garden
Now let us turn to another kind of garden.
This garden is the ‘Family’ that you are sharing with Your Spouse!
In this Family Garden, the children that Allah presents to you are like Buds, Flowers and Fruits that ultimately develop into the most beautiful Human Beings!
Compared to the conventional garden that is explained above, this family garden’s attributes are much more superior in Value, in Significance, in Splendour. This family garden holds a very high status in the lives of its gardeners, who are ‘the Husband and his Wife’.
In this garden Allah also endows you with an amazing way to directly communicate with these buds, flowers and fruits.
Working in Harmony
While in almost every customary garden the gardener alone has the sole responsibility to look after it and take its full care, in the family garden it is the joint responsibility of the married couple to work in harmony with one another.
To obtain the finest results the couple has to develop cordiality, love and respect for one another!
Each one has to give maximum sacrifices of time, emotions, money, sleep, comfort, etc. If you are not willing to deal jointly with your problems and differences, you will never enjoy a bountiful harvest.
Nurturing Your Flowers
In a garden the seeds develop into plants and from these plants we get buds. These buds gradually blossom into very enticing flowers that emit very sweet fragrances. Ultimately these flowers develop into very tasty fruits or vegetables.
In the same manner in a human garden the progression is: Infants, Toddlers, Adolescents and finally young Adults.
During all these stages the couple in their roles as parents of the children have to see that they nurture their children in the best possible manner.
You should water them with love, care and attention. Nourish them with praise and compliments. In fact, give them a compliment each and every day.
As the couple you should mutually offer them warmth and cordiality by:
a. Giving your maximum support when they need it.
b. Playing with them and having fun with them.
c. Helping them with their Madrassah and school work.
The Fragrance
A flower’s fragrance represents its sweet and alluring aroma. Allah, with His infinite power, places this fragrance in flowers.
However, He has given this responsibility to you, as the parents, to embed the fragrance in your child!
What is this fragrance that you need to embed in your child?
The true fragrance of a Muslim child is the Right Tarbiyat imparted to him. This Tarbiyat comprises two principle qualities:
1. Fundamental Islamic Values.
2. Good Akhlaq (combination of good manners, high moral standards and a virtuous character).
To bring this fragrance in your child you need to develop an Islamic environment in your home. To develop this environment you as the parents have got to be Practicing Muslims.
Children are Perfect Mirrors of their parents. They are always watching you, always listening to you. They pick up whatever you portray. If you portray true Islamic values and akhlaq then they will pick them up. These will ultimately turn into their real Fragrance!
On the other hand, if you expose your glaringly bad characteristics to them then they will pick them up too and ultimately these negative traits may become their disgusting odours and stenches.
Always remember: if there is proper Deen and Islamic Akhlaq in you then these will definitely be reflected in your children’s character and nature.
The importance of this Fragrance
One of the prime responsibilities of the parents is to impart worldly education to their children. However, you have to ensure that the school you choose for your child has the right concept of education as per the Islamic doctrines and it also has the true Islamic environment.
Unfortunately most of the schools in the modern times fall short of these qualities. As a result your children’s upbringing can have negative consequences.
However, if you instill the right fragrance in them as per the explanations given above, then your children can inshAllah remain safe from these negative effects.
This fragrance will also play a very significant role in every phase, in every aspect of your ‘Flowers and Fruits’ during their adult lives.
To be continued
Your Family is Your Garden! Part 2
By: Haqqseeker
Keeping Your Children Safe from ‘Weeds’, ‘Pests’ and ‘Plant Diseases’.
Weeds
The bad company the children keep act like weeds. You have to keep them safe from growing in competition with these 'weeds'. You have to ensure that they have the right kinds of friends who are not possessing any negative characteristics.
Pests
A pest is anything that brings harm to the plants or to the flowers in your garden.
In the present Digital Era a very huge source of ‘Pests’ that can bring considerable harms to the ‘Developing Flowers and Fruits’ of your family garden, meaning your maturing children, are the ‘addictions’ that are connected to the Screens of the digital devices.
Some of these common ‘Screen Pests’ are: Game Addiction, TV addiction, the Smartphone Addiction, and the Social Media Addiction.
The most Toxic Pest, however, is the Porn Addiction’!
When a child gets affected with any of these pests then, chances are he himself can start acting like an undesirable ‘Pest’. This can bring problems to the parents in their task of nurturing not only the ‘Pestilent’ child but also his siblings!
To keep the children free from these pests, the first and the foremost responsibility of the parents is to ensure that they themselves are not trapped by any of these 'Pests'!
Diseases
Just like the plants are mostly affected by fungal or fungal-like organisms, the children in a family garden are severely afflicted by the arguments, quarrels and fights going on between the ‘family gardeners’, who are the couple, or the parents of these children.
Remember, these quarrels and fights are just like the ‘Plant Diseases’ for your children. If you cannot do without quarreling with your spouse then please do it in the privacy of your bedrooms, ensuring that your buds, flowers and fruits do not hear or perceive your voices.
Viruses
No matter how well you take care of our gardens, plant viruses do inevitably strike. These can wreak havoc on plants of all kinds in your garden.
In the same manner you can face numerous problems and issues in your 'family garden'. In such circumstances always turn to Allah and beseech His help with all sincerity. Allah alone has the sole power to solve all your problems
The Most Lethal Disease
The most harmful disease that can attack your buds, flowers and fruits is either the utterances of the word ‘Talaq’ by the husband or the demand for a ‘Khulah’ by the wife. Such ‘diseases’ can psychologically destroy the future of your children. If you really love your children then you should always try to avoid such actions.
Final word
Remember, for your sincere efforts in nurturing ‘the Buds, the Flowers and the Fruits’ of your family garden Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala will reward you tremendously in this world as well as in the next. InshaAllah you will also reap a very rich harvest of adorable Muslim adults that may turn out to be very beneficial to the Ummah of our beloved Nabi Muhammad Sallallahu 'Alaihi Wasallam.
We have many examples of the struggles the Muslim parents, and especially the mothers, have done to bring up their children with the right Islamic Tarbiyat.
We also have amazing examples of the results of their efforts.
One of the most prominent examples is that of Hadhrat Ismail ‘AlaihisSalaam. His father Ibrahim ‘AlaihisSalaam and his mother Hajra brought him up with such Tarbiyat that at a very young age he was ready to give his life because his father was asked by Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala to slaughter his son.
This is called the Real Fragrance!
May Allah give you the Strength, the Knowhow and the Ability to reap the best harvest from your 'Family Garden'...Ameen.
By: Haqqseeker
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Compiled, editd and adapted by Khalid latif
www.thekhalids.org